Tag Archives: humor

Holiday Greeting

See the source image

I received this holiday greeting many years ago, back when we used to get this stuff by Fax machine:

From me (“the Wishor”) to you (“the Wishee”) Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the   winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular  practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to  practice religious or secular traditions at all . I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2002, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the Wishee. By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that this greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal. This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original  greeting and that the proprietary rights of the Wishor are acknowledged. This greeting implies no promise by the Wishor to actually implement any of the wishes. This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain Wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the Wishor. This  greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of  one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. The Wishor warrants this greeting only   for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the Wishor. Any references in this greeting to “the Lord”, “Father Christmas”, “Our Savior”, “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer” or any other festive figures,  whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged. This greeting is made under US  Law.

Advertisements

What your dog does when you are not watching

I give this beagle a 10 for creative problem solving.

Our Gracie was a counter-surfer when she first came to live with us so snacks, the butter dish, balls of yarn all needed to be kept off the kitchen table when unattended. Since the only dogs we had previously lived with were Freya (100 pounds) and Robby (70 pounds) who couldn’t have gotten onto a counter if they’d wanted to, nothing really prepared me for what this Formosan Mountain cat-dog could get into. The only difference between her and the beagle in the video is that she is so athletic that she didn’t need a chair.

One day I left the two dogs upstairs with their dog door open into their dog yard while I was downstairs in my studio with a client and the communicating door was closed. When I was finished for the day and came upstairs Gracie was all excited and was trying to herd me outside like Lassie. I walked out onto the porch and she leaped off to run a gleeful Victory lap around a cairn of avocados and other fruits she had stolen from the garden window over the sink and carried outside to stack into a pile. As I brought them all back inside I saw that each had a distinctive fang pattern pierced into it.

How many Goldens does it take to fetch an ice cube?

I found this great video today…

Our dogs love ice cubes, we call them water-bones, but only Freya ever operated the ice maker on her own. Rob sits at the fridge and asks nicely. I think Scott’s Aunt Judy’s Golden retriever, Sam, did what this dog is doing because I remember coming into the kitchen and finding spots of water on the floor when he had been alone in there.

I love how you can hear the woman filming say that there is never any ice … check your ice dispenser and see if it has a lock button, mine does but we never use it. I guess someone ought to point hers out to her 😉

Diving Dogs

Diving Dogs

Is this amazing?

No it is not a shark.

It is a dog, a pet dog, in fact, diving for a tennis ball. See the ball?

Click the link to see more in the series, they are all pretty freaky… and toothy!

Here is the link: Diving Dogs

And more.. marriage humor

A Funny Story from a friend’s fb page:

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.

“Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!

Continue reading And more.. marriage humor

The lecture, some spouse humor for this morning

Just had to repost this from my friend’s Life IS Good group on fb:

An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m and was asked where he was going at that time of night. 

The man replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.” 

The officer then asked, “Really? Who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?” 

The man replied, “That would be my wife.”

Overheard at Starbucks…

A mom with two little girls was at a table near me at Starbucks.

Little girl 1 was looking around the cafe and said, “When I grow up I want to make coffee for people.”

Mom replied, “No, you don’t. You want to be a manager like mommy.”

Little girl 2 waited a few minutes, then asked, “Can I be a fireman?”